19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. 20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
QUICK TO LISTEN, SLOW TO SPEAK
When you are faced with disrespectful, disobedient, or rebellious
behavior, it is natural to get angry. Unfortunately the natural response
is least likely to uncover the heart issues that lie underneath the
child's bad behavior. This is because the "anger of man" distracts us
from a pursuit of righteousness. The anger of a parent confronted with a
child's poor choice shifts the focus from the child's bad behavior to
the parent's angry response.
These verses tell us to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Listening
carefully, speaking little, and helping your child explore the motives
behind his behavior can lead to the sort of insight that points the
child toward the righteousness of God. Replace anger with empathy, and
see what happens.
Responding to disobedience with empathy rather than anger is difficult, but the reward is great.
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